few sips of coffee, we're all going to hell, Ocean Heaven, et al

i've recently limited myself to a few sips of coffee at a time. that usually means just enough amount of "high" that brings with it less caffeine crash than i can condone. if it sounds unnecessarily odd, that's because  it is. feeling extremely weak, bordering on lifelessness, after the coffee high has receded still seems abnormal to me, no matter if i'm a fairly new coffee convert. i dislike it in the same measure i dislike morning-after hangovers. time gets wasted. and the stark contrast between during coffee and after coffee is a mockery i can't seem to get used to. i've been advised by two doctors to stop coffee altogether, without even looking into why i have this rather abnormal reaction to coffee. i think it's a stupid advice, it's like telling someone to stop laughing if laughing hurts your jaw (happened to me before, given that exact advice before). or to be metaphorical about it, it's like telling someone to stop admiring a rose if the caterpillars bother him.

so a few sips at a time should do for now. "few sips" can always mean every after three or four hours, can't it?

*******

it's my first time in weeks that i have the house completely to myself and i am at peace. i am at peace despite a huge stack of problems waiting to pull me down anytime. i am at peace despite the literal mess around me, waiting for someone to barge in the house and sneer at how i can function in such disorder. i am at peace despite a host of uncertainties fading in and out. and i'm not sure why.

*******

caught this Chinese movie called Ocean Heaven in the cinema for free last night and i think i was crying seventy percent of the time. i've never cried that long and that much over a decidedly melodramatic movie in quite a long while. it's good to know i haven't turned into stone yet.

sometimes life knows how to sneak in and give you just about the right kind of catharsis you need.

*******

that uplifting feeling of hearing your exact thoughts stream out beautifully by virtue of a good song:

26/365 purple looks good on you

26/365 purple looks good on you, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

To be welcomed by such a breathtaking sight upon coming out of a crowded, stifling shopping mall -- priceless. :)

25/365

25/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

not how i intended it to be. but posting this shameless photo-manipulation failed attempt nonetheless for the sake of handing in something--anything-- for 365.
back story: i'd caught sight of a huge fallen tree a couple of days ago and decided to shoot what supposedly was a picture of a girl with her wild hair mutating into the tree's roots. But due to several factors not least of which is lack of art direction and photo-manipulation skills, I failed.:D i was already knee-deep in post-processing the pics i took when i realized it wasn't gonna happen. but i proceeded anyway, as i'm not one to let anything go to waste just like that.

24/365 and they call it puppy love

24/365 and they call it puppy love, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

and damn do i need a telephoto lens.

23/365 Elli

23/365 Elli, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

her name is pronounced "eel-lie".
from a portraits workshop i went to last weekend.

22/365

22/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

Philcoa at night.
taken on my way home last evening. just thought i'd play with long exposure to cheer me up.

21/365 i choose my battles well

21/365 i choose my battles well, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

focus could have been better but i think this will do.
model: elli

20/365 spider boys

20/365 spider boys, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

i spotted these young spider-wrestler managers down the street today and i just had to take a pic. "i used to play this game when i was a kid," i shared. they were thrilled.

Bach - Cello Suite No.1 i-Prelude

there's nothing like classical music to cure the blues.

18/365

18/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

from a page of an old book off my humble collection. quote by Joan Didion.

*******
i'm not proud of the fact this could have been done much better, with a better perspective, better composition, better style. but alas, today was one of those days i didn't feel like picking up my camera, or myself, at all. and this is all i could come up with.

17/365 [insert clever title here]

17/365 [insert clever title here], a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

mother brought home a Buko pie today.
and that's all i can say about that.

16/365 of scarves and cocoons

this photo was born out of my fascination for scarves combined with my repressed desire to just curl up into a cocoon and hibernate right now.

16/365 of scarves and cocoons, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

after a day's work

after a day's work, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

15/365 the famous bridge from my childhood

15/365 the famous bridge from my childhood, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

(view from my cousin's house in our home province Samar.)

this is the exact same bridge my childhood playmates used to dive off from when they'd go swimming in the river underneath, the exact same bridge I and siblings had dreamt of jumping from as kids but wouldn't dare to lest we earn our parents' wrath. mama had this whole spiel about how dirty the river was or how dangerous it was to dive from the famous bridge, and we'd always end up as jealous spectators, admiring the jumpers from the river bank, imagining how much fun we'd have if we were allowed to get our feet wet.

in hindsight, it was indeed a less-than-clean river. but in my head, i'd like to think of it as the river under the famous bridge i never got to jump from.:D

*******
this is not a new picture but i had "365 project" in my head when i took it so i guess it still counts.:)

14/365 Kiel

14/365 Kiel, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

i got a visit from my nephew today.
(with him in this pic is my older sister, another one of his four aunts.)

13/365

13/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

because i felt really dizzy today.
and worse inside.

*******
not happy at all with this picture, but man was it hard to pull off. nobody was around to act as my "remote control" so i was skittering back and forth between the camera and the couch. i felt less dizzy after that.

12/365 Buranday

12/365 Buranday, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

this is our long-time neighbor's/family-friend's daughter whose sophisticated name (if you will), Millare, transforms into the comical Buranday (boo-rhan-dhay) when called out by his silly dad.:)

isn't she cuuute?

11/365 happy birthday, January

11/365 happy birthday, January, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

my youngest sister turns 18 today.

10/365

10/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

this is my cousin's little boy. would readily model for you in exchange for a coloring book or two.

*******
tried to make this shot more interesting but failed.

9/365 only in the Philippines

9/365 only in the Philippines, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

a jeepney boasting of happy "topload" passengers, coca cola bottles that contain what looks like an unusually reddish, diluted coke [because it's not coke! :D it's gasoline conveniently sold roadside for passing Habal-habals (which i failed to take a picture of!) ], and an improvised Christmas tree made out of patched dried leaves (i can't for the life of me find the name of this filipino leaf!) -- things that you can find only in the Philippines. :) I could give you more, but nothing beats visiting my country to see for yourself.;)

*******
all three pics were taken during our motorcycle road trip last New Year vacation.

8/365 for who doesn't love a sunset?

8/365 for who doesn't love a sunset?, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

my last afternoon in 2012 was witnessed by a sunset.

and vice versa.:)

*******
To whom who loved a silly four-thorned rose and forty sunsets.

*******
I still don't own a remote (can't find one for my 1000D!) so Janggay had to press the shutter button.

7/365 Kagomaoas

7/365 Kagomaoas, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

my family + some family friends.
i'm now the shortest of the bunch! :D

6/365 Yen

6/365 Yen, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

5/365 my hometown

5/365 my hometown is beautiful, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

i grew up in a sleepy little town called Lavezares. as almost any now-city-girl would say, part of me will always be a "promdi".

4/365 toys as old as history

4/365 toys as old as history, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

...mine and my siblings' (all six of them) history at least. these are some of the toys we used to play with as kids. i had never realized they are still alive until my recent holiday homecoming. some of them go as far as 20 years back! most of the toys in the first photo were gifts from various godparents. the barbie doll collection, a number of them hand-me-downs, belongs to the youngest girl in the family, Janggay, who's now almost 18.
i suspect, that if i think real hard, i would still remember who owns which or who fought over which.:)

3/365

3/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

that glorious instant you wake up to your mom's and nephew's bonding time and you give up going back to sleep because you just had to get up and capture the moment.

2/365

2/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

Luis gets a present from his tita Zandra as tita Janggay explains that it's a Christmas gift.:) LOL at my little brother Gideon's bleak-looking  Christmas sock! Would never edit it out for the world; stories are always more important than photographic technicalities.:)

1/365

1/365, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

new year, new attempts. this had been way long overdue, like the great late bloomer and procrastinator that i am, but i've finally gathered the guts to have the proverbial 365 project started. this could prove to be more overwhelming and painful to sustain than i already think it is, but what the heck, i'll try my darnest to keep it going, because 1.) i think this is one of the best ways (if not the best) to improve what little photography skills i have, 2.) this would push me to create and express myself everyday for my good 'ol sanity, and 3.) just like the rock-collecting Denny of Chuck Palahniuk's Choke (a recent addition to my list of favorite dysfunctional literary figures!), i need to have something tangible (and i don't mean that which you can withdraw from an ATM) to show for each day, "Just one thing. A little monument to mark the end of each day." this way i (hopefully) won't wound up feeling like my days have just disappeared into nothing at the end of the year.

*******

disclaimer: it's not gonna be one of those one-self-portrait-a-day 365's, definitely not ( i cringe at the thought! :D ), but just a self-imposed commitment to upload one photo of anything each day in 2012.
and since i'm already 5 days behind, i intend to upload five photos more by the end of this week. :)

wish me luck?
*******

special thanks to my niece Yen for pressing the shutter button.:D