adrift

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

date unknown

i read somewhere that when Joan Didion fell into a downward spiral following the death of her husband, she healed herself by writing.
that is how i wish to be healed. by writing, or by any form of art which would not only be the perfect friend to pour your soul to, but would also cleanse, purify and lead to creation and rebirth. and this is why i am eternally jealous of writers and artists. among all the occupations in the world, an artist's profession is for me, the most enviable, the most satisfying to the soul.

*******

hello, despair, we meet again. i can no longer count the number of times i've fallen to your clutch these past few years alone. if repeatedly sinking to your realm, crawling back up to artificial normalcy and slipping back to your darkness and back again were to be considered a form of bravery, then i am one of the bravest persons i know in this category. sylvia plath's "Lazarus" comes to mind. I am not as brave as sylvia plath.

*******

many set their definition of bravery within the borders of acquisition and success. being educated on the ways of the world, acquiring skills and tools for the purpose of achievement, enduring suffering often without question, working hard in order for people to applaud them, overcoming obstacles to be successful. successful in the eyes of the world, that for them is bravery.

to be able to live your life without cares, to detach yourself from the trappings and pressures of the world, to do and to BE, impervious of what everyone thinks, that, for me, is bravery.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Go placidly amid the noise and haste...

mrt, sundown, 4/14/12

...and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

"Desiderata"

Max Ehrmann

*******

anything that holds true to you, even 15 years after you have first read it, no matter how cliched, no matter how googled, is worth a visit every once in a while.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

for anyone who's feeling down

I hope this pulls you up.

Monday, February 20, 2012

'tis

(Disclaimer: This is not a book review but just a meaningless random rave about my experience with the book so far.)

After Angelas' Ashes, it's almost impossible not to be hooked to Frank McCourt's unique brand of storytelling. Since Saturday evening, 'Tis, the sequel to this Irish author's all too human memoir, has been my addiction, 275 pages of it so far. I had initially felt a tinge of guilt putting down Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5 for a while, but now, having been incredibly absorbed in my second Frank McCourt, I know that the Vonnegut fan in me will understand if I finish the memoir first before the satire. The book was the perfect companion last Saturday while I was waiting for my turn for a tattoo session (which didn't happen as the artwork i wanted was too complex for the tattoo artist, and which is another story), and I probably looked like a dork what with my soundless laughter and shoulders shaking up and down all by myself with a book at a coffee shop. The whole Sunday afternoon saw me all glued to the couch with the book, eating, taking a bath, napping in between, and if I hadn't have to work in the evening I probably wouldn't have left the couch at all. And today, from the time I woke up until now, 15 minutes before I start teaching online, this book has alternately sent me to stitches, made me cry ("my mother used to say when we cried, Oh, your bladder must be near your eye") and recollect my own catholic school experiences (that seem very distant now), and oddly enough, dream about certain things again. And I'll be most certainly capping my day with a few more pages, then wake up with it the next morning, 'cause that's how 'tis when you fall in love with a book.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

cold, cold heart

for those who missed this simple yet adorable and spot-on google art yesterday:

Saturday, February 04, 2012

35/365 It wears her out

35/365 It wears her out, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

34/ 365 push

34/ 365 push, a photo by fourthornedrose on Flickr.

for my 34 and 33, i allowed myself to cheat a little by posting pictures from a month ago. the post-processing, however, was done on day 33. i suppose it still counts, eh? either way, the purpose behind the self-imposed challenge is being met so far, and i guess that's what really matters. (i'm the queen of justification. )