top ten best comebacks
by Johnny Dunn, from www.toptenz.net
Wit is a quality that is easily desired, but no so easily obtained. Those who do have it have gained heavy acclaim. Since the beginning of time, mankind has argued and debated against one another, and while some conflicts are won in wars, many of them are won in words. Here are ten of history’s greatest comebacks, retorts, repartee, insults, or whatever else you’d like to call them. From quotes of Winston Churchill to Oscar Wilde, these are surely people to tell tales about.
10. Bottoms Up
Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into the wealthy English family of Astor. She actually was the first woman to be elected to Parliament, which makes her humiliation all the sweeter. She was invited to 1912 a dinner party located in the Churchill estate , but, unfortunately for her, she became extremely annoyed at a drunk and politically incorrect Winston Churchill. Finally, she exclaimed the following: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Unaffected by her sudden outburst, Churchill moderately and quickly replied:
“Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.”
9. Ready, Aim, Fire!
The next situation involves the 30th US president, Calvin Coolidge. He was a relatively quiet man and was known for his brevity, though the few words he had made quite an impression. After an after-dinner recital, an acclaimed and heavily respected opera singer was invited to the White House. But apparently performing for the president was quite a frightening experience and her performance left much to be desired. During the performance, one of the White Houses’s guests leaned over and whispered to Coolidge: “What do you think of the singer’s execution?” Coolidge calmly replied:
“I’m all for it.”
8. Well, you asked.
Mohandas Ghandi is associated with civil rights and nonviolence, but most definitely not wit. As the following story will show you, Ghandi didn’t have to fight with his fists, but simply had to use his words. After gaining fame for a campaign to promote colonial India’s independence, Ghandi traveled to London and met with British authorities. The British were wonderfully curious about this strange little man, and Ghandi was constantly bombarded with questions from the press and photographers. One day, a reporter cried out, “What do you think of Western civilization?” And in a monumental moment that would define Ghandi’s reputation, he replied:
“I think it would be a good idea.”
7. Keep Your Seats in an Upright Position
Muhammad Ali once took a flight on Eastern Airlines in the 1970s. A flight attendant was making her final checks on the passengers, but noticed Ali failed to fasten his seat belt. She kindly asked him to do so, but Ali replied quite arrogantly, “Superman don’t’ need no seat belt.” Not intimidated by the boxer’s reputation and fame, the flight attendant replied:
“Superman don’t need no airplane either.”
6. Smell You Later!
Oscar Wilde was widely known for his wit and intelligence in plays, but he was no stranger to it in real-life. After one performance of one of his plays, Wilde went on stage and welcomed a warm reception. Many people applauded and threw a copious amount of beautiful flora, but one unsatisfied person threw a rotten cabbage at the playwright. Wilde picked it up and replied with a straight face:
“Thank you my friend. Every time I smell it, I shall be reminded of you.”
